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Download PDF file by clicking link above.  Disc 106 - Forgiveness & Reconciliation - Eph 4:31-32
 
We have quite a bit of teaching on DIVINE FORGIVENESS
 
In fact - I've kind of "focused"
on teaching Divine Forgiveness for some time
 
we have at least 8 or 10 messages
on the subjects of Forgiveness & Reconciliation
(PLUS the Life of Joseph series)
 
& so - if the Holy Spirit strikes a cord
in your heart today on this subject
 
PLEASE - Contact Word-By-Mail & ask for ALL
the Forgiveness & Reconciliation Messages
 
 
Today, we're in lesson SIX of our discipleship series
& we've been moving thru the "Foundational Truths" of Christianity
 
1) Who is Jesus Christ ?
2) The Abundant life in Christ
3) The Fatherhood of God
4) The Holy Spirit
5) Spiritual Growth & Maturity
 
These are all "Foundational Truths" of knowing God
 
& then BAAM - today we narrow down
onto a very specific topic - Forgiveness & Reconciliation
 
 
Now - actually - we're going to close this little 8-Part Series
with 2 more "specific" topics, after this one
 
But Pastor Craig Caster & "Family Discipleship Ministries"
(whose Discipleship Manual we're following download it at wordbymail.com)
 
Chose to Make Forgiveness & Reconciliation
the FIRST specific topic to teach to a Disciple of Jesus
 
& possibly - the reason he chose this specific topic
is for the SAME REASON that I would choose it
 
I believe THIS ISSUE is at the ROOT
of an incredible number of crisis & tragedies IN THE CHURCH
 
I know (from personal experience) - the need
for Forgiveness & Reconciliation in the church
may very well be at THE TOP
of the Transformation Needs List - for Disciples of Christ
 
There is so much PAIN - & so much DAMAGE,
sown into the church thru UNFORGIVENESS
 
That I believe - AFTER Salvation & becoming a Disciple,
THIS may be the greatest need in the church
 
Let's Pray
 
 
 
Most of us do not easily admit - the Damage & Destruction
that Unforgiveness is causing in our lives
 
Damage to innocent lives around us
& Damage to our own lives
 
It's commonly known (in Counseling Circles) that:

• Pride
• Self Righteousness
• Judgmental & Critical spirit
• Lack of Trust & Intimacy
• Relationship Dysfunctions
• Broken Fellowship with God

 
Can ALL (very often) be traced back
to the HARBORING of Unforgiveness
 
 
Harboring Unforgiveness Drives Deep
the ROOT of BITTERNESS
 
& Heb 12:15 says - ESV
15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
 
Guys - Please HEAR me - MANY have become defiled
by the strong root of Bitterness
 
& when that root springs up - it causes trouble
 
& not just for the person Harboring Unforgiveness
but for all the innocent lives around them
 
Let's Turn over to Eph 4:30  
Let's Turn over to Eph 4:30
 
The CONTEXT of Eph 4 is
Putting off the Old Man,
Being Renewed,
& Putting on the New Man
 
It's about what the New Life in Christ LOOKS LIKE
 
& in Eph 4:30-32 - Paul talks about FORGIVENESS
 
But he begins - by listing the By-Products,
of the Poison of UN-forgiveness
 
& then he makes a very clear statement regarding
TO WHAT EXTENT - we are called to forgive, as Christians
 
Eph 4:30-32 - ESV
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (he's leading into the forgiveness issue)31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. (byproducts of unforgiveness)32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (underline "AS")
 
Paul leads into the Forgiveness issue
with a Warning to not GRIEVE the Holy Spirit (by holding onto sin)
 
& then (v.31) lists the Poisonous By-Products of Unforgiveness  
 
Poisonous By-Products of Unforgiveness

• Bitterness - extreme hostility
• Wrath - outburst of anger (in retaliation)
• Anger - state of mind marked by rage & pain
• Clamor - harsh & unkind words
• Slander - words that harm a person
• Malice - desire to see another suffer

 
These are the Poisonous By-Products of Unforgiveness
 
& God will ALLOW these Poisons - to absolutely TORTURE you
 
in order to "Bring You" to a place of Brokenness
SO THAT you will accept HIS DIVINE FORGIVENESS
SO THAT you will be healed
 
These By-Products of Unforgiveness - cause PAIN in our lives
 
& that PAIN should send us Running to the Doctor for healing
 
 
My son used to work as an EMT at a motorcycle track
 
& he would always come home with these hilarious stories
about thick headed motorcycle riders who'd refuse to go to the Dr.
 
He'd say - look man - you are hurt - Do you FEEL hurt ??
 
& the guys would be wincing in pain - about to pass out
& they'd say "no man, I'm fine, I don't need a Dr"
 
& sometimes my son would say - "fine then, get up & walk"
& Mr tuff-guy would take 1 step, & fall down in excruciating pain
 
& then David would say NOW . . . Are you ready to go to the DR ??
 
But guys - Aren’t we the same ??
The Byproducts of Unforgiveness are Destroying our lives - there's PAIN strewn ALL around us in every direction
 
& we say "No man, I'm fine, I don't need a Dr"
 
No man - You are NOT fine
You DO need a Dr - & you need him FAST
 
 
& what is the Dr's Prescription
for Healing the Poison of Unforgiveness in your life
 
The Prescription is in the VERY NEXT VS (as it usually is)
 
Eph 4:32 - ESV
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
 
Be Kind & Tenderhearted - TO THE ONE you now hold
bitterness - wrath - anger - clamor - slander & malice against
 
Be Kind & Tenderhearted to them . . .
Forgiving them - - AS God in Christ forgave you
 
The ESV here - simple says AS - But most of the
Dynamic Translations (like the NLT) - Say "JUST AS"
 
The phrase "Just As" means
To the same Degree, in the same Proportion
 
To the same Degree, in the same Proportion
AS God in Christ has forgiven YOU
 
 
 
Now - if Divine Forgiveness is NEW to you
this might be a bit of a SHOCK
 
That we are called to Forgive those who have wronged us
To the same Degree, & in the same Proportion
As God in Christ has forgiven us
 
THAT sounds impossible - Doesn’t it ?
& With MAN - it IS impossible
But With GOD - All things are possible
 
That is why it's called - DIVINE FORGIVENESS
 
 
Let me explain it to you
with a Parable from Jesus Christ Himself
 
In Mat 18 - Jesus had just finished teaching
about Reconciliation in the church
 
& then the famous "foot in mouth" Disciple (Peter)
 
comes up to Jesus - planning to show the Master
that he fully understands FORGIVENESS
 
Mat 18:21-22 - ESV
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (some trans = 77 times)
 
Peter thought he was doing good
cause the Rabbi's taught Forgiveness THREE times, & no more
 
& so Peter raises it to SEVEN - & then Jesus Blows the Lid off it,
& says - Forgiveness cannot be numbered or measured
 
& He tells a very CLEAR parable - that explains
WHY the By-Products of Unforgiveness feel like TORTURE
 
Mat 18:23-24 - ESV
23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
 
There are many ways to illustrate a TALENT - for example;
 
ONE TALENT was equal to 20 YEARS wages for a LABORER
so 10,000 Talents = 200,000 Years Wages for a LABORER
 
THAT - is an Un-payable Debt
 
Mat 18:25-27 - ESV
25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. (justice)26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’27 And out of pity (compassion) for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
 
THIS is a Picture - of YOU & GOD
 
You owed God a debt you could not pay - & by no work of your own God Released you, & Forgave your UNPAYABLE debt
 
 
 
Now - You MUST make the comparison here
because this is the first step to Divine Forgiveness
 
You MUST make the comparison between
The Picture of You & God - Compared to The Picture of You & that other Person
 
The Picture of You & that Other Person - Begins in
 
Mat 18:28 - ESV
28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’
 
That already sounds strange, doesn’t it
after all this servant had just been Forgiven of
 
But it sounds even more Strange when you realize
 
The first Servant was forgiven
200,000 Years of a Laborers Wage
 
His Fellow Servant - whom he was now "Choking"
owed him a hundred Denarii
 
Which was about THREE MONTHS Laborers Wage
 
The Servant who had just been forgiven
200,000 YEARS wages
 
was choking a fellow servant who owed him
a measly THREE MONTHS wages
 
 
Unfortunately it gets worse
 
Remember - this is a picture of you & I
being Forgiven by God a Debt we could not pay
 
& then turning around & Attacking
a fellow servant - - with our Unforgiveness
 
We MUST make this Comparison
 
Continuing in Mat 18:29-30 - ESV
29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ (same thing 1st servant said to master)30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
 
Man - aren’t we good at putting people in prison
that we're Harboring Unforgiveness against !
 
I promise you - this Unforgiving Servant was saying to himself
Exactly what we Say to Ourselves
 
THEY DON’T DESERVE TO BE FORGIVEN !!!
THEY'VE WRONGED ME !!!
THEY DESERVE THIS !!!
 
Yeah, I know . . . & God knows
 
AND - God IS WATCHING YOU
Just like the Master of this Unforgiving Servant
 
 
Mat 18:31 - ESV  
Mat 18:31 - ESV
31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.
 
I kinda see this like the Angels going to God & saying
 
"Lord, after all you've forgiven them of, do you know
what they're doing down there to each another ?"
 
& so we read - in Mat 18:32-34 - ESV
32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ (THAT - is making the comparison)34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers (torturers), until he should pay all his debt.
 
Wait a minute !!!
 
He delivered him to the TORTURERS
until he should pay all his debt?
 
The ESV puts the word Torturers in as a "Footnote"
But NLT & NKJ both put it in the text
"delivered him to the torturers"
 
Dave - - what are you saying?
 
Are you saying that God would do that to US,
if we refuse to forgive ??
 
 
Come on - SURELY God wouldn’t do that to us
 
Yes - SHIRLEY - He would
& He says so in the very next vs.
 
Mat 18:35 - ESV
35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
 
God will Allow you - to be TORTURED by your Unforgiveness
Until you are broken . . .
 
& Until you RELEASE that person
from the DEBT they OWE YOU !
 
Now - - I know there are some here - who have
Tremendously Painful Experiences
they are Harboring Unforgiveness over - & I'm Sorry
 
But please believe me - God wants to heal you
of the POISON of your Unforgiveness
 
For YOUR own GOOD !
 
 
guys - the Bible is VERY CLEAR
 
Your REFUSAL to Forgive - as Christ forgave you
is BLOCKING your "Right Relationship with God"
 
 
In The Lord's Prayer in Mat 6:9
Our Forgiveness from God is TIED to our Forgiving others
 
& in a Self-Commentary on the Lord's Prayer,
Jesus says in Mat 6:14-15 - ESV
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
 
This isn’t talking about your Salvation
it's talking about your "Right Relationship" with God
 
& that "Right Relationship" is what brings Peace & Joy
& the Fruit of the Spirit to your life
 
instead of the Poisonous By-Products
of the Sin of Unforgiveness
 
Mark 11:25 says - ESV
25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
 
Our "Right Relationship" with God - is BLOCKED
by our REFUSAL to Forgive others,
 
 
Please - if you need the Miracle
of Divine Forgiveness in your life
 
Immerse yourself in this critical area of HEALING
Call upon the Holy Spirit for Healing in this area
 
 
& ask us for Resources to help you
 
if you DON'T - The TORTURE of Unforgiveness in your life
WILL continue
 
 
Now - We only have time, to say a few words
on the subject of Reconciliation
 
We also have messages specifically on Reconciliation (at WBM)
 
& we can also get you a really good workbook
on Reconciliation - called PEACEMAKING - By Rick Love
 
 
To Reconcile means to Restore HARMONY in a relationship
 
& just like Forgiveness - Our EXAMPLE of Reconciliation
is found in Jesus Christ
 
 
Col 1:19-22 - ESV  
 
Col 1:19-22 - ESV
19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell,20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds,22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him,
 
You - were Separated From God (alienated)
You - were Hostile to God
You - were in the midst of Evil Deeds
 
& WHILE you were in the Midst of ALL THAT
Jesus Christ did the Work to Reconcile you to Himself
 
& that person God calls you to be Reconciled to
They are Separated from you
They are Hostile toward you
They may have done some Evil Deeds
 
But while YOU - were the Enemy of God
 
Jesus Christ did ALL the work of Reconciliation
to Restore Harmony to your Relationship with God
 
& now - God is calling YOU,
to Reconcile your Relationship with that other person
 
 
 
The word FORGIVE - is a VERB - it's an action word
which means - the ACT of Forgiving requires ACTION
 
We must FIRST Receive God's DIVINE FORGIVENESS
in our own hearts - toward that person
 
But then - where possible - we must attempt reconciliation
 
Both - to those who have offended us
AND to those we have offended
 
I know - sometimes face-to-face reconciliation
is not possible - & maybe not even safe
 
But where IT IS - That is what God is calling us to do
 
 
In the Sermon on the MT - Jesus gives a very practical teaching
on the importance of reconciliation
 
After a Very Strong Warning regarding being ANGRY
 
where He elevates the Commandment to not Murder
to INCLUDE Not being Extremely Angry at a person
 
after THAT - in V.23 - He gives a very serious instruction
 
 
Mat 5:23-24 - ESV  
 
 
Mat 5:23-24 - ESV
23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
 
Please hear me - Jesus says - LEAVE THE ALTAR
FIRST - Go be Reconciled to your brother,
THEN, come & offer your gift
 
guys - Forgiveness & Reconciliation is more important to Jesus
than your time at the Altar worshipping Him
 
WHY - How can that be ??
 
In Psa 51 - in David's prayer of Forgiveness for his sins
 
Psa 51:16-17 says - NLT
16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering.17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
 
 
God desires - a Broken & Repentant heart
THAT is what He Wants
 
He doesn’t want us to play church
in fact - us playing church - ANNOYS Him
 
God Desires Repentance, & Action
 
Let's Allow God to Search us & know our Hearts,
 
& let's allow Him to point out any Poison of Unforgiveness
& any Need for Reconciliation
 
& then let’s commit to Him - to begin the process
 
Let's Pray